Thursday, September 30, 2010

Backyard Conversations, Glenn Beck and the Tea Baggers

In case you didn't give a shit, which you shouldn't because the whole idea is ill-conceived, hokey and risky, Obama got served.

Given, its Iowa. Look at the picture. (For $10, where is Iowa?) But it's good Obama got an earful. Maybe he'll get his head out of his ass.

Because if he doesn't, he's going to be up the creek without a paddle and Glenn Beck and the tea bags will finish what W started.

N.B.: I long for Anne Coulter and true conservative values.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Orrick, Herrington at the Rodeo!


It's weird. They can't seal the deal. No one wants to dance, not even a firm that's seen better days.

As reported, "[t]his isn't Orrick's first merger rodeo. [The firm] "has a long history of going pretty far down the aisle with potential merger partners, only to ... fall apart."



Orrick failed to bed, er merge with, Dewey Ballantine ("Dewey Orrick Herrington - DOH!"), and previous dalliances with Coudert Brothers, Cooley, Venture Law Group, Donovan Leisure Newton & Irvine and Swidler Berlin Shereff Friedman, turned up the fig. (That sounds more like the VIP list to The White Party at Vizcaya than a law firm merger wish list.)

Wait! I know a good target!

NB Based on results to date, the big boys at Orrick could stand to channel their inner Joan.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Cadwalader Wickersham & Taft - A Leading Law Firm!

As the loyal reader of this blog will tell you, we respect Cadwalader.

I love saying it: Cadwalader. Cadwalader Wickersham. Cadwalader Wickersham and Taft.

Its just sounds fancy.

Anyhoo, with all those high powered lawyers, why the heck is Cadwalader so scared to appear before a Congressional Oversight Panel investigating the use of private contractors by the Treasury Department for work related to the TARP program?

Just because Cadwalader received legal fees of 27.5 million in TARP funds to advise Treasury regarding the companies to which it should dole out the money, while also representing corporate clients to whom Treasury doled out TARP funds, does seem like a basis to ruin the firm's reputation by starting to invoke the 5th amendment and hide behind the attorney client privilege. I mean, "does not."

Hey - did you know that W. Christopher White, the new Chairman of Cadwalader, is the brother-in-law of Treasury's bailout Czar Steven Rattner, who I guess helped decide which law firms would get the TARP work?


NB How did I know that Dick Cheney was involved?

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Cadwalader, Wickersham & Taft

If unlike me you did not grow up on the Shores of Lake Superior, you are not a fan of '70s folk music, your name does not end in a vowel or your law degree is from an institution that could get you in the door at a once-fancy "silk stocking" firm, let me tell you a little about the Edmund Fitzgerald.

Launched on June 8, 1958, The Mighty Fitz, as it was known, was the largest working vessel on the Great Lakes for almost 20 years. 730 feet long and 75 feet wide, it carried taconite from Duluth, Minnesota to Detroit.

On November 10, 1975, while carrying 26,000 tons of cargo, the great vessel encountered 50 knot winds. And then things got nasty. Bottom line is, the boat broke in two and sank, and all 29 crew perished.

No one knows exactly what caused the sinking of this mighty vessel, but one published theory contends that an already weakened structure and modification of the structure allowing heavier loads contributed to too much stress on the infrastructure causing a stress fracture in the hull.

Which takes us to Cadwalader and Robert O. Link.

Bob earned his law degree at the University of Tennessee.

Bob arrived at Cadwalader in 1987 and made partner in 1990.

Bob was made leader of the firm in 1994. At the age of 39. Of an international law firm, with 200 years of legal experience, that many considered relevant. But, as they say...

Cadwalader had fallen behind other New York firms in stature but more importantly in revenue.

Bob wanted to fix that.

Bob took the "structured finance" practice group to new heights.

Bob installed what he called a "meritocracy," awarding partners who brought in business with increased compensation (Bob's like Einstein, eh?)

Under Bob, where you'd never want to be, the firm posted record revenues and profits in the years that followed. By 2006, profits per partner hit an all-time high of $2.9million, with gross revenues at $556 million.

Until 1997 hit, the economy slowed down and government regulators got snoopy.

Bob made Cadwalader the first fancy firm to engage in large-scale layoffs, in January 2008.

Bob fired 35 associates.

Bob fired 96 more lawyers.

Bob got sent to London.

Bob left Cadwalader - and the practice of law (does that mean he resigned his bar license?) on July 1, at 55 years old.

And now, Bob's judgement:

"Speaking from one of his homes in Vermont, Link said the retirement was his choice. He said he has no plans to return to the practice of law, though he may take a job in the public interest arena.

"I don't have to work if I don't want to," Link said. "But I will."

Bob - can I call you Dick? - who is your PR person? Or maybe you handle your own PR....

Read the article here.

Bob says he is proud of what he built during his tenure. Which as far as I can tell, is absolutely nothing.

Who's Your Daddy?

Leicester Stovall wants to reconnect with his son. Who can blame him for that?

Squire Sanders, of course. Those folks are so litigious.

Paternity at issue with big bucks at stake means the pleadings are flying as fast as the dirt.

Here is the story.

I don't understand this statement in Leicester's response to LeBron's motion to dismiss: "Plaintiff's time-consuming efforts to reconfirm his recollections were a reasonable -- and predictable -- response to Defendant Gloria James's statements and the DNA test results that he'd allowed Defendants to arrange during a period when time was, unbeknownst to Plaintiff, of the essence."

Leicester, who is representing himself, used to work for the S.E.C.

Anyhoo, I hope all this works out in the best interest of the child.

NB Now that I've gotten around to reconfirming my recollections, I think it is entirely possible I may be the father of one or more of the following: Carlos Slim Helu, William Gates III, or Mukesh Ambami.

Monday, September 20, 2010

40th Anniversary

As the one loyal reader of this blog knows, I am a Doors fan.

So , Wow! Beached on Miami is obviously written by talented people who are real writers and not a frustrated lawyer dabbling in the blog-o-sphere. Kudos to Jordan and Robby.

Because check this out.

Today marks the 40th anniversary of a Miami jury convicting Jim Morrison of misdemeanor charges of indecent exposure and profanity arising out of The Doors' concert at Dinner Key. And the Beached post comprehensively covers the background, the incident, the political climate, a bit of the trial dynamic, and great photos (including the booking photo above, which we borrowed from Beached) and video clips.

I encourage you, after you read the Beached post, to watch the live Roadhouse Blues video above to revisit Morrison's ability to create utter chaos, his larger than life presence and his unbridled, genuine I-don't-give-a-shit attitude. He was something else.

NB I wonder what happened to Robert Jennings?

Friday, September 17, 2010

David Lat and Michigan Assistant Attorney General Andrew Shirvell Are a Pair of Enema Bags

It's a joke! No matter how ignorant they are, each is a human being. Of course they cannot be a receptacle for liquids expelled from the anus after being introduced to the lower intestine to extract fecal matter.

The story is here.

Look at Andy. His unfortunate, unnecessary, destructive and overt repression of his homosexual orientation can't mask his desire to scream "PLEASE GRAB MY EARS AND MAKE ME SUCK YOUR C*@K!"

But Andy, I wouldn't let you. You're a bigot. You abuse your position. You have poor judgment, according to your boss. You promote hate and stupidity, and EVERYONE IS LAUGHING AT YOU.

If I could, and I am not because I can't, I'd call you ferret face. But I won't. Because that would be unkind to ferrets.

But I am pretty sure Andy would lick the head give head be at the head of sensitivity class on his knees.

NB I always wondered why Above The Law feels worthless, un-insightful, derivative and a waste of time. Turns out it was not just because its a place for Big Firm Trust Fund Crybabies with zero talent, ability or business to go and whine after they smash their balding heads on that glass ceiling their family entitlement could not shatter.

Its because it was founded by a guy like Shrivell.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

I Love Gnocci

Who doesn't love potatoes?

The Ukrain has the pierogi, Eastern Europeans the knish, and the Irish, boxty (John Martin's never served boxty, btw.)

But nothing tops gnocci.

Anyhoo, I'm not sure about the merits of this lawsuit. Don't get me wrong: I like Italians as much as the next person. Some of my best friends are Italian. And I have nothing against the pinkie ring.

But it seems to me that suing the City University of New York, which in 1976 declared its effort to recruit, hire and promote Italians, is like suing Miami Dade College for discriminating against Cubans.

Don't bite the hand that feeds you.

NB Godfather, Goodfellas, Saturday Night Fever, Casino, Raging Bull, and of course South Florida Lawyers' Favorite - Who's The Boss.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

"These are subtleties. The point is, that it works."

I couldn't make this crap up if I wrote for what once was a newspaper.

"Judge Finds No Ineffective Assistance in Trial Where Defense Lawyer's 'Associate' Was Non-Attorney Felon"

After Kenneth Stevens had been sentenced to 216 months in federal prison, he learned the "associate" who sat second chair at his trial was not in fact an attorney, but rather was a non-attorney convicted felon.

And not just any felon, mind you.

Harvey Alter was "the associate". Harv, unbeknown to the accused or the trial judge, was the former chief of Manhattan House, which at the time was New York's largest halfway house. Harv had pleaded guilty to bribery "for demanding and receiving from [a Manhattan House resident] sexual and sado-masochistic favors in exchange for money, drugs, and [the] promise of favorable treatment," as described by his subsequent appeal of his sentence.

The guilty plea satisfied charges that Alter had coerced sex from at least four residents of the halfway house. (And Harv still appealed his sentence!)

So who is the "trial lawyer" and what's his connection to Harvey the halfway house molester? Stevens was represented by Michael A. Young who referred to Alter throughout the trial as his "associate" and who attended attorney sidebars.

Turns out Young, Stevens' trial counsel, was Alter's partner in Manhattan House, as well as the president of the company that owned the halfway house. The two men shared an apartment in Greenwich Village and Young owned a Fire Island cottage that was the site of the drug-fueled parties detailed in Alter's indictment, according to two stories in Newsday.

Southern District of New York Judge John F. Keenan ruled that the ostensible associate's criminal background and lack of a law degree were insufficient grounds for finding ineffective assistance.


What the hell was everyone thinking? What kind of joy ride with some guy's life was this? What was the genesis of this idea? Why was it fun for Harv the molester? And why did Young entertain the experiment? What is wrong with these people?

And I thought Kubrick was whack.

N.B. "Young, a Manhattan solo practitioner who was admitted to the bar in 1971, was not publicly sanctioned for his actions."

The Most Interesting Man In The World...

...of Miami politics.

From humble professional beginnings as a local reporter in Spanish language media, he rode a wave of low voter turnout to capture the Throne in 2009.

Now, communicating without barriers, he clothes the homeless, swims with sharks, and fearlessly attempts novel theories of contract law to try and correct his mistakes.

You guessed it!

N.B.: Find out what it is you don't do well in life, and then don't do that thing.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Secretary Wanted

Man, my secretary gave me crap today, which is no different than any other day.

Except she was prioritizing ANOTHER LAWYER'S WORK before mine. And that ain't right.

After all, who in the World is more important than me, right?

It's so hard to find good help these days. Someone who takes pride in their work and is devoted to discharging the responsibilities of the job with zeal.

N.B.: Enjoy your three day weekend. It's going to be a grind from now until Thanksgiving.