Feliz Navidad

Have You Heard the One About the Abrasive, Obnoxious Jew, the Angry Drunken Mick, the Screwy Whop, and the Colored Boy With the Strong Back?

No?

Well then pack up the kiddies and head on over to the Tricky Dick Presidential Library and Museum!

The New York Times reports the release of more of the 265 hours of recordings of Nixon made while the dope sat on his fat ass in the Oval office.



I make no secret that I think the writers for the Times are superb, but the phrase "added layer of complexity" as used in the article (and included below) does not seem to accurately or appropriately describe Nixon as the ignorant, racist pig that he was.

"While previous recordings have detailed Nixon’s animosity toward Jews, including those who served in his administration like Henry A. Kissinger, his national security adviser, these tapes suggest an added layer of complexity to Nixon’s feeling. He and his aides seem to make a distinction between Israeli Jews, whom Nixon admired, and American Jews."

“The Jews have certain traits,” he said. “The Irish have certain — for example, the Irish can’t drink. What you always have to remember with the Irish is they get mean. Virtually every Irish I’ve known gets mean when he drinks. Particularly the real Irish.”

Nixon continued: “The Italians, of course, those people course don’t have their heads screwed on tight. They are wonderful people, but,” and his voice trailed off.

A moment later, Nixon returned to Jews: “The Jews are just a very aggressive and abrasive and obnoxious personality.”

Added layer of complexity? Really? Not so much.

I would have written something like, " ...these tapes prove Nixon was an ignorant, racist pig."

What? Too direct?

Anyhoo, you didn't think Dick's rants would ever exclude the coloreds, did you?

The article continues:

"At another point, in a long and wandering conversation with Rose Mary Woods, his personal secretary, that veered from whom to invite to a state dinner to whether Ms. Woods should get her hair done, Nixon offered sharp skepticism at the views of William P. Rogers, his secretary of state, about the future of black Africans.

“Bill Rogers has got — to his credit it’s a decent feeling — but somewhat sort of a blind spot on the black thing because he’s been in New York,” Nixon said. “He says well, ‘They are coming along, and that after all they are going to strengthen our country in the end because they are strong physically and some of them are smart.’ So forth and so on.

“My own view is I think he’s right if you’re talking in terms of 500 years,” he said. “I think it’s wrong if you’re talking in terms of 50 years. What has to happen is they have be, frankly, inbred. And, you just, that’s the only thing that’s going to do it, Rose.”

I guess Sammy was "inbred?" (WTF does that mean?)



Doesn't Dick look uncomfortable, like Sammy might be contagious?

NB: I guess my Irish drinking buddy isn't "real" Irish after all, because the only time she got mad at me she was sober as a judge. And hey - nothing about the 'Ricans and the Mexicans ??? Guess that will be released in later tapes.

Save Some Food For Me!

Well, the DEA has given notice that you have one month to buy "fake weed" and horde it in your basement before it becomes illegal to buy "fake weed." (The kids used to call fake weed "homegrown" back in the day.)

The DEA announced plans Wednesday for a nationwide emergency ban of five chemicals found in the so-called "fake pot," which is sold as incense at convenience stores and specialty shops across the country. (Where exactly are these "convenience stores" located? And when did folks stop calling them "head shops?")

"This is good news," said Jim Hall, director of Nova Southeastern University's Center for the Study and Prevention of Substance Abuse. "It's the fastest way to deal with the problem nationwide."

Actually Jim, the fastest way would be to impose an IMMEDIATE ban or suspend sales.

Nova.

Anyhoo, the five chemicals banned are JWH-018, JWH-073, JWH-200, CP-47,497 and cannabicyclohexanol. They will be labeled Schedule 1 drugs, the most restrictive category reserved for drugs deemed unsafe, highly abused and considered to have no medical value. (Unless applied to the wax on green apples, Chocolate Crunch cereal, or your favorite BBQ chippies.)

N.B. The views expressed in the youtube video, which have absolutely no affiliation with this blog, and the proliferation of "fake" marijuana, do not represent the views of this blog or its authors. This includes the actor's tacit admission that coughing after a bong hit is totally weak and undermines the prior 3 minutes of her video wherein she purports to be the world's authority on bong hits. Nor do we condone drinking the bong water. Ever.

The Big House

The Man already covered Judge Shenberg's new gig here.

Kudos to Harvey for his entrepreneurial spirit and never say die attitude and all, but really: didn't Gene Wilder teach us everything we need to know about survival in The Big House?

N.B.: Timing is everything and from the look of things, Allen Stanford needed Harv to open his jail survival school a year earlier. Ouchy.

New Music Saturday

NB This is the second Bluegrass song I post. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Texas Flood

Being a drunk can lead to the White House.

And being President entails having dog crap thrown at you.

That's W.'s statements to a hostile crowd at an Energy Conference in Dallas, the risky venue chosen for his first public remarks about his graphic novel.

According to the Huffington Post, W. was candid in his remarks and talked a lot about his family and his wife Laura: "I never would be sitting here without the unconditional love of an awesome man," he said.



NB: Water boarding? Damn right!

Congratulations to Marco Rubio, Son of Exiles!

I don't like cheap shots, so the Herald's election night description of Mauricio's "toothy grin" at his victory party at the "swanky" Biltmore was not necessary.




NB - Hey - did anyone see this play ?

Nella Memoria di L'uomo Grande

Don't Cha

N.B.: Fancy watch.

Backyard Conversations, Glenn Beck and the Tea Baggers

In case you didn't give a shit, which you shouldn't because the whole idea is ill-conceived, hokey and risky, Obama got served.

Given, its Iowa. Look at the picture. (For $10, where is Iowa?) But it's good Obama got an earful. Maybe he'll get his head out of his ass.

Because if he doesn't, he's going to be up the creek without a paddle and Glenn Beck and the tea bags will finish what W started.

N.B.: I long for Anne Coulter and true conservative values.

Orrick, Herrington at the Rodeo!

Again.

It's weird. They can't seal the deal. No one wants to dance, not even a firm that's seen better days.

As law.com reported, "[t]his isn't Orrick's first merger rodeo. [The firm] "has a long history of going pretty far down the aisle with potential merger partners, only to ... fall apart."

Hmm.

Gerbil.

Orrick failed to bed, er merge with, Dewey Ballantine ("Dewey Orrick Herrington - DOH!"), and previous dalliances with Coudert Brothers, Cooley, Venture Law Group, Donovan Leisure Newton & Irvine and Swidler Berlin Shereff Friedman, turned up the fig. (That sounds more like the VIP list to The White Party at Vizcaya than a law firm merger wish list.)

Wait! I know a good target!

NB Based on results to date, the big boys at Orrick could stand to channel their inner Joan.

Cadwalader Wickersham & Taft - A Leading Law Firm!

As the loyal reader of this blog will tell you, we respect Cadwalader.

I love saying it: Cadwalader. Cadwalader Wickersham. Cadwalader Wickersham and Taft.

Its just sounds fancy.

Anyhoo, with all those high powered lawyers, why the heck is Cadwalader so scared to appear before a Congressional Oversight Panel investigating the use of private contractors by the Treasury Department for work related to the TARP program?

Just because Cadwalader received legal fees of 27.5 million in TARP funds to advise Treasury regarding the companies to which it should dole out the money, while also representing corporate clients to whom Treasury doled out TARP funds, does seem like a basis to ruin the firm's reputation by starting to invoke the 5th amendment and hide behind the attorney client privilege. I mean, "does not."

Hey - did you know that W. Christopher White, the new Chairman of Cadwalader, is the brother-in-law of Treasury's bailout Czar Steven Rattner, who I guess helped decide which law firms would get the TARP work?

Really.

NB How did I know that Dick Cheney was involved?

Cadwalader, Wickersham & Taft

If unlike me you did not grow up on the Shores of Lake Superior, you are not a fan of '70s folk music, your name does not end in a vowel or your law degree is from an institution that could get you in the door at a once-fancy "silk stocking" firm, let me tell you a little about the Edmund Fitzgerald.

Launched on June 8, 1958, The Mighty Fitz, as it was known, was the largest working vessel on the Great Lakes for almost 20 years. 730 feet long and 75 feet wide, it carried taconite from Duluth, Minnesota to Detroit.

On November 10, 1975, while carrying 26,000 tons of cargo, the great vessel encountered 50 knot winds. And then things got nasty. Bottom line is, the boat broke in two and sank, and all 29 crew perished.

No one knows exactly what caused the sinking of this mighty vessel, but one published theory contends that an already weakened structure and modification of the structure allowing heavier loads contributed to too much stress on the infrastructure causing a stress fracture in the hull.

Which takes us to Cadwalader and Robert O. Link.



Bob earned his law degree at the University of Tennessee.

Bob arrived at Cadwalader in 1987 and made partner in 1990.

Bob was made leader of the firm in 1994. At the age of 39. Of an international law firm, with 200 years of legal experience, that many considered relevant. But, as they say...

Cadwalader had fallen behind other New York firms in stature but more importantly in revenue.

Bob wanted to fix that.

Bob took the "structured finance" practice group to new heights.

Bob installed what he called a "meritocracy," awarding partners who brought in business with increased compensation (Bob's like Einstein, eh?)

Under Bob, where you'd never want to be, the firm posted record revenues and profits in the years that followed. By 2006, profits per partner hit an all-time high of $2.9million, with gross revenues at $556 million.

Until 1997 hit, the economy slowed down and government regulators got snoopy.

Bob made Cadwalader the first fancy firm to engage in large-scale layoffs, in January 2008.

Bob fired 35 associates.

Bob fired 96 more lawyers.

Bob got sent to London.

Bob left Cadwalader - and the practice of law (does that mean he resigned his bar license?) on July 1, at 55 years old.

And now, Bob's judgement:

"Speaking from one of his homes in Vermont, Link said the retirement was his choice. He said he has no plans to return to the practice of law, though he may take a job in the public interest arena.

"I don't have to work if I don't want to," Link said. "But I will."

Bob - can I call you Dick? - who is your PR person? Or maybe you handle your own PR....

Read the article here.

Bob says he is proud of what he built during his tenure. Which as far as I can tell, is absolutely nothing.

Who's Your Daddy?

Leicester Stovall wants to reconnect with his son. Who can blame him for that?

Squire Sanders, of course. Those folks are so litigious.

Paternity at issue with big bucks at stake means the pleadings are flying as fast as the dirt.

Here is the story.

I don't understand this statement in Leicester's response to LeBron's motion to dismiss: "Plaintiff's time-consuming efforts to reconfirm his recollections were a reasonable -- and predictable -- response to Defendant Gloria James's statements and the DNA test results that he'd allowed Defendants to arrange during a period when time was, unbeknownst to Plaintiff, of the essence."

Leicester, who is representing himself, used to work for the S.E.C.

Anyhoo, I hope all this works out in the best interest of the child.

NB Now that I've gotten around to reconfirming my recollections, I think it is entirely possible I may be the father of one or more of the following: Carlos Slim Helu, William Gates III, or Mukesh Ambami.

40th Anniversary

As the one loyal reader of this blog knows, I am a Doors fan.

So , Wow! Beached on Miami is obviously written by talented people who are real writers and not a frustrated lawyer dabbling in the blog-o-sphere. Kudos to Jordan and Robby.

Because check this out.

Today marks the 40th anniversary of a Miami jury convicting Jim Morrison of misdemeanor charges of indecent exposure and profanity arising out of The Doors' concert at Dinner Key. And the Beached post comprehensively covers the background, the incident, the political climate, a bit of the trial dynamic, and great photos (including the booking photo above, which we borrowed from Beached) and video clips.

I encourage you, after you read the Beached post, to watch the live Roadhouse Blues video above to revisit Morrison's ability to create utter chaos, his larger than life presence and his unbridled, genuine I-don't-give-a-shit attitude. He was something else.

NB I wonder what happened to Robert Jennings?

David Lat and Michigan Assistant Attorney General Andrew Shirvell Are a Pair of Enema Bags

It's a joke! No matter how ignorant they are, each is a human being. Of course they cannot be a receptacle for liquids expelled from the anus after being introduced to the lower intestine to extract fecal matter.

The story is here.

Look at Andy. His unfortunate, unnecessary, destructive and overt repression of his homosexual orientation can't mask his desire to scream "PLEASE GRAB MY EARS AND MAKE ME SUCK YOUR C*@K!"



But Andy, I wouldn't let you. You're a bigot. You abuse your position. You have poor judgment, according to your boss. You promote hate and stupidity, and EVERYONE IS LAUGHING AT YOU.

If I could, and I am not because I can't, I'd call you ferret face. But I won't. Because that would be unkind to ferrets.

But I am pretty sure Andy would lick the head give head be at the head of sensitivity class on his knees.

NB I always wondered why Above The Law feels worthless, un-insightful, derivative and a waste of time. Turns out it was not just because its a place for Big Firm Trust Fund Crybabies with zero talent, ability or business to go and whine after they smash their balding heads on that glass ceiling their family entitlement could not shatter.

Its because it was founded by a guy like Shrivell.

I Love Gnocci

Who doesn't love potatoes?

The Ukrain has the pierogi, Eastern Europeans the knish, and the Irish, boxty (John Martin's never served boxty, btw.)

But nothing tops gnocci.

Anyhoo, I'm not sure about the merits of this lawsuit. Don't get me wrong: I like Italians as much as the next person. Some of my best friends are Italian. And I have nothing against the pinkie ring.

But it seems to me that suing the City University of New York, which in 1976 declared its effort to recruit, hire and promote Italians, is like suing Miami Dade College for discriminating against Cubans.

Don't bite the hand that feeds you.

NB Godfather, Goodfellas, Saturday Night Fever, Casino, Raging Bull, and of course South Florida Lawyers' Favorite - Who's The Boss.

"These are subtleties. The point is, that it works."

I couldn't make this crap up if I wrote for what once was a newspaper.

"Judge Finds No Ineffective Assistance in Trial Where Defense Lawyer's 'Associate' Was Non-Attorney Felon"

After Kenneth Stevens had been sentenced to 216 months in federal prison, he learned the "associate" who sat second chair at his trial was not in fact an attorney, but rather was a non-attorney convicted felon.

And not just any felon, mind you.

Harvey Alter was "the associate". Harv, unbeknown to the accused or the trial judge, was the former chief of Manhattan House, which at the time was New York's largest halfway house. Harv had pleaded guilty to bribery "for demanding and receiving from [a Manhattan House resident] sexual and sado-masochistic favors in exchange for money, drugs, and [the] promise of favorable treatment," as described by his subsequent appeal of his sentence.

The guilty plea satisfied charges that Alter had coerced sex from at least four residents of the halfway house. (And Harv still appealed his sentence!)

So who is the "trial lawyer" and what's his connection to Harvey the halfway house molester? Stevens was represented by Michael A. Young who referred to Alter throughout the trial as his "associate" and who attended attorney sidebars.

Turns out Young, Stevens' trial counsel, was Alter's partner in Manhattan House, as well as the president of the company that owned the halfway house. The two men shared an apartment in Greenwich Village and Young owned a Fire Island cottage that was the site of the drug-fueled parties detailed in Alter's indictment, according to two stories in Newsday.

Southern District of New York Judge John F. Keenan ruled that the ostensible associate's criminal background and lack of a law degree were insufficient grounds for finding ineffective assistance.

Really?

What the hell was everyone thinking? What kind of joy ride with some guy's life was this? What was the genesis of this idea? Why was it fun for Harv the molester? And why did Young entertain the experiment? What is wrong with these people?

And I thought Kubrick was whack.

N.B. "Young, a Manhattan solo practitioner who was admitted to the bar in 1971, was not publicly sanctioned for his actions."

The Most Interesting Man In The World...

...of Miami politics.

From humble professional beginnings as a local reporter in Spanish language media, he rode a wave of low voter turnout to capture the Throne in 2009.

Now, communicating without barriers, he clothes the homeless, swims with sharks, and fearlessly attempts novel theories of contract law to try and correct his mistakes.

You guessed it!

N.B.: Find out what it is you don't do well in life, and then don't do that thing.

Secretary Wanted

Man, my secretary gave me crap today, which is no different than any other day.

Except she was prioritizing ANOTHER LAWYER'S WORK before mine. And that ain't right.

After all, who in the World is more important than me, right?

It's so hard to find good help these days. Someone who takes pride in their work and is devoted to discharging the responsibilities of the job with zeal.

N.B.: Enjoy your three day weekend. It's going to be a grind from now until Thanksgiving.

Ode to Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin

Interviewing Tips for Law School Graduates

So with this tight legal market, it seems finding a law job continues to be hard.

Fancy firms have taken a "hiatus" from their summer programs and are "being more discerning" (read: we can't pay our equity partners what we used to pay them and are desperately trying to find money, including by restricting temporarily the flow of new blood into the firm and hoping it does not permanently damage our ability to function.)

Smaller, lesser known regional firms come right out and admit that they have terminated their summer associate program because they cannot afford it if they wish to survive.

When or if the legal market enjoys a slow uptick, landing a job as a summer will be even more perilous.

In addition to the Ten Commandments of interviewing (which you should never forget) law grads are confronted with stealth behavioral interview tactics.

Consider these prodding inquiries certain to yield insight:

"Law firm interviewers are being trained to ask questions like "How did you handle the last time you received an unexpected project?" or "What was an innovative idea you came up with in the workplace?"

Are you shittin' me? That's it? Now it's obvious why after 5 years 80 percent of big law associates leave for the county attorney's office, the S.E.C., or to hang their shingle on Flagler Street.

As I've said before, you just have to be yourself. That's either good enough, or it's not. And no amount of faking it will carry the day, at least not for very long.

N.B. She never fakes it.

And did you notice how Lynn couldn't remember "adultery" as one of the 10 Commandments?

The Case of the Miami Penis Pump Scammers

I love those old Hardy Boys' Mystery Book titles.

Anyhoo, did you see this little article?

Someone has a sense of humor - "Charlie RX" and "Happy Trips of Hialeah" - great names for medical equipment provider companies selling penis pumps, or at least bilking Medicare for them. But why not call the company "Wee Willies" or "Irish Curse RX"?

N.B.: I wonder if the Miami Go-To criminal defense lawyer will get this, if he doesn't already have it. The case, not the pump.

I hope Ursula draws this case.

The Universal Defense

No matter the cause of action, the defense always boils down to this.

Sometimes, that shit don't fly.

NB - Preservation Hall will always be good for the soul.

Liberty

As the New York Times reported , three miles off the coast of Alaska BP is moving forward with a project to drill two miles under the Arctic and then eight miles horizontally to reach what is believed to be a 100-million-barrel reservoir of oil under federal waters.

BP's drilling has been exempted from the federal government's moratorium on offshore drilling because it sits on an artificial island — a 31-acre pile of gravel in about 22 feet of water — built by BP.

You have to hand it to the Oil Company for naming its record-setting project "Liberty."

As BP becomes accountable, and people start to clamor that things have been broken, wrongs have been done, people have been hurt (maybe Ervin is all that, after all) stuff is coming to light. For example, rather than conducting their own independent analysis, federal regulators, in a break from usual practice, allowed BP in 2007 to write its own environmental review for the project as well as its own consultation documents relating to the Endangered Species Act, according to two scientists from the Alaska office of the federal Mineral Management Service that oversees drilling.

That sounds extremely cozy, and seems a bit like this.

This dude works on the North Slope, monitoring fish movement across the "Liberty" drill site.



Anyhoo, I could go on and on, but I won't. Read the Times article.

N.B. The Satriani / Grace Potter cover is pretty hot, and I am no fan of covers.

This Is How To Try Your Case

NB Jake Knotts is a piece of ..... Just kidding! It's a joke!

Saturday Night, 1978

NB Same weekend. At the Agora Ballroom in Hartford, and Toads, in New Haven. After Rudy's, of course. Fake ID in hand.

"Like A Frightened Turtle"

You know what they says about guys with little sports cars, big houses, and cigarette boats?

And badges?

This poor guy feels short changed.

I always wondered whether those high-tech security screening machines equated to x-ray vision. My wife always seems to draw a crowd when she is asked to step inside. I always thought it was because she at times looks a tad Middle Eastern. Go figure.

N.B. Why did stubby force his victim to his knees before beating him? That's kinda weird. Oh well. Better hire that studly criminal defense lawyer across town.

People Change

I love the Washington Post, as much as I love Washington lawyers as they primp, preen and prance around the court room with dramatic flare for their clients as they "prepare for trial," before the inevitable "settlement."



"Alike, but different," is the best the Post could do to try and distance Charlie from Joe. And I agree with that: after all, Joe's a Jew and Charlie attended FSU. Joe is old, and Charlie. Joe was a lifelong democrat before he abandoned his constituency and jumped ship for selfish reasons, and Charlie was a lifelong republican before he abandoned his constituency and jumped ship for selfish reasons. Beyond that, they're pretty much indistinguishable. They've both been married twice right? And in trying to distinguish them, doesn't the Post invite comparisons? Silly me. I don't live in the beltway. Who am I to even opine on such matters.

Charlie has made a decision regarding his affiliation, and you have to respect that in a man. So cast your vote.

NB What ever happened to Charlie's wife? I have not heard much about her since she was first rolled out. I got snowed, just like everyone else.

Man, that was fast

NB It never gets old.

Angelina Jolie

I just like saying her name.

"Daddy Likee"... Who is the dumbass that paid some advertising agency 10 million dollars for that stupid slogan? Results matter: 600,000 recalls. Great casting.

And frankly opinions matter, provided you have only one.

How do you like your steak cooked ?

Baseball season is here. (That Tanner really has a mouth on him.)

Music time.



NB: She is unbelievable

Random

I thought this article by Uncle Luke on the state court prosecution of Michelle Spence-Jones was an interesting read.



Oh, and in case you were wondering, Big Law actually sucks.

Fortunately, I don't know about that.




NB Donatella Versace is a looker.

"There are no real rules. Its up to each judge."

Thank goodness for good law professors who make certain the next generation of attorneys is gooder than the last.

First we had Perfessor David Rowe, who first came to our attention here. "Specializing" in "criminal defense", the Good Perfessor offers hope to the accused. Never no mind he lost the beauty contest to represent the accused, to some other guy. I am sure that is not causing him to make statements like the following. Heck, I'd give my left nut to be quoted in CHAT!

"I see his chances as begin very low. He is on video offering cocaine for sale. I don't think the entrapment argument has a great deal of effort," Rowe told Chat! yesterday."

And I don't think effort is a great deal, cocaine.

Not to be outdone, Bobby Jarvis over there at Nova is quotable, at least to the Palm Beach Post. After all, he is listed in "Who's Who in the World." And not everyone can say that.

Anyhoo, after Johnny K. did the right thing and apologized for allegedly flashing his judge badge and yelling at a FHP Trooper, Professor Bob had this to say about recusal:

"There are no real rules. It is up to each judge," Jarvis said. "Judges don't have to explain why they do or don't in particular instances recuse themselves."



Professor Bobby apparently forgot about the procedure for filing disqualification motions for civil and criminal cases, in rule 2.160 of the Florida Rules of Judicial Administration. Or that a statute relating to judicial disqualification exists, F.S. [sections] 38.10,[1] the requirements of which are consistent with rule 2.160 and should be satisfied by counsel. Additionally, Fla. Code Jud. Conduct Canon 3E(1) sets forth a nonexclusive list of instances in which a judge must disqualify himself or herself from a case in which the judge's "impartiality might reasonably be questioned." Or that a motion to disqualify must be in writing and "specifically allege the facts and reasons" relied on to show the basis for disqualification. See Fla. R. Jud. Admin. 2.160(c). The motion must be sworn to by the "party" by signing the motion under oath or by a separate affidavit. Counsel for the party seeking disqualification must also separately certify that the motion and his or her client's statements contained therein are made in good faith.

Rule 2.160(d) sets forth the following bases for a disqualification motion, at least one of which must be shown in the motion....Oh hail, never mind. The judge is just going to make it up as she goes along.

N.B. There really is a Who's Who in the World. Not that I'd ever want to be a part of any group that would have me.

Go Slow

N.B. I knew Him, when.

The Rum

NB: turn on your love light(s)

I believe I will start drinking early tomorrow, and spend time on my boat this weekend, fishing.

N.B. Here's to Gene. My god he is so cute, and I can't wait to meet him.

Champion

The Man covered the important legal and PR issues here. I add a soundtrack and observe that I think these guys will make a great team at trial. Of course, you know Buju can't cut his hair, so I suppose David may grow the dreads. I can see it.





N.B. Isn't it a litle eerie that Buju is wearing his bright orange jumpsuit at the beggining of this video?

Hiatus

It feels good to be back.



N.B.